Reflections from a year ago
About a year ago from now, it was when our lives have changed. So did the world. My daily routine was pretty much thrown out of the window. I remember having to get up early, shower, breakfast, my toddler then gets up and we make coffee together for my spouse. Then when my spouse wakes up, I head on out to take the bus to the office. Then meetings and paperwork all day. Then take the bus home, dinner, play with my toddler then hang out with my spouse before bed. This all changed, I now wake up later, make coffee, spouse and toddler were already up by then, then I go upstairs to work. Take more breaks because of fatigue from video conference meetings. When I’m done work, I just turn off my laptop then walk downstairs.
I was the manager for a social services agency. This type of work was in the field of human services. We provide supports to individuals in group home settings, in their homes and within the community. There was a lot of anxiety on every level from the frontlines, middle management, within the leadership team and beyond. The thing about the pandemic, it created a lot of uncertainty when the numbers continued to climb up leading the public health officials having to call the shots and place restrictions like shutting down stores, limiting capacity in places where people normally gathered (like restaurants, shopping malls, even schools and daycares). Sure, this upset a lot of people. These type of issues also affected the service area I was managing. Few examples were: one of my leadership staff had a kid who was sent back home regularly for numerous of reasons because their Educational Assistants were needed elsewhere, one had a pet that was sick and had to tend to its needs, had a family member move in and was partially taking up workspace at home, and so on. There were changes in policies at work that had to reflect the changes from the government since they follow what the public health officials advise them to do. With the changes going on along with anxiety and uncertainty (they both are related to each other), I can see these were taking a toll on their health particularly their mental health. As their manager/supervisor, it was important for me to be proactive in these issue and be supportive them and ensure they have everything they need to carry on with their job well.
I remember sending out a message to the team letting them know that as manager, I won’t always know what to do especially during this time of uncertainty. The feeling of uncertainty, loss of control, lacking motivation, and frequent tiredness and exhaustion were signs of burnout most of us were going through. I couldn’t let the team down. This was a moment of being vulnerable that I don’t know what to do but have reassured them that I’ll keep them in the loop and what decisions I’ve made based on advice I receive from the government and even upper level management.
At this time, I had to adapt. Fast. I could either adapt slow and have the leadership team slowly fall apart or adapt fast and have the leadership stay together especially when we all started working remotely. This whole ordeal with planning for the pandemic was new to me but the feeling of having to adapt was not. It was the mindset that was necessary plus the skill to be able to adapt (such as being able to change the way we communicate from in person to remote meetings, creating tools for us to see where each of us are with our projects, etc.) These skills were not something I learned in the classroom but by learning and listening from other leaders on how they think and respond from where they’re at.
